Economically, I suppose I’m considered middle-class. If you look at the frequency of my paychecks however, during some seasons I’m lower class. But because I have a couple assets, I guess the books might say Middle. It’s been a struggle, acquiring and holding onto said assets, but so far I’ve pulled it off. Other than a stable income, primarily what it takes is a stop-renting, start-buying mindset, and all the benefits that come along with that.

As incapacitated as my brother currently is with his damned Parkinson’s, and as far-flung from metro- and family-center as he chose to live, at least he has property. My other two siblings, not.

One of them, it’s not for lack of desire. But back to her another time. The other simply never had that mindset; property ownership wasn’t a goal. Apartment living was fine for her. Even the much smaller benefits of automobile ownership she didn’t appreciate; instead, she leased.

I don’t think I ever came right out and told her her priorities were skewed. Siblings have a way of deflecting—if not becoming embittered by—advice. Yes, she’s envied & commented on my ability to have acquired a house, so the value of owning assets aren’t completely lost on her. But as mom once said, “Morley just never wanted to own a house”.

That’s well and good if you’re financially successful. For those people, monthly rent and leases are a drop in the bucket. But when 80% of your income is allocated to such expenses, something’s terribly wrong. 

Through a series of misadventures and misfortune, this erstwhile upstanding sister, who is currently unemployed—is now down to her last $32. Several years ago she lost a previous job and therefore used her savings—mostly from a worker’s comp incident—to pay for her apartment for several months thereafter. When that dried up, she realized she had no choice but to move back to our now 87 year old mother’s home. It goes without saying, that not a day goes by that she’s not depressed about her lot, stressed about living in the province of the elderly, and dragged down by the constant reminders she failed in life.

Through all these incidents, she had a boyfriend. Sure, they were on-again, off-again. And not without problems. But she had this guy. When they met, he conveyed to her marriage wasn’t his thing. You’d have to be living under a rock to not have heard or read the memo: “you can’t change a man”. But she apparently didn’t. And she stuck it out with him for about six years, in hopes he’d change. 

The only changes he made were attempts at his own self-improvement. Not only did he never change his mind, but he wouldn’t even let her move in! That’s how much he valued his own propriety; placing it above all else. Companionship needs held priority over commitment.  And Morley was right there whenever companionship needed to be fulfilled. Eventually she’d had enough and severed it. I’m sure to him it was no love lost.

All the while she was driving a leased car. Perhaps the notion of lower monthly payments appealed to her at the time of acquisition, along with the fact that the car would never get old enough to warrant repairs. Which is why rich people like to lease. And when the lease was up and it was time to get another, she was working so get another one, she did. Or gosh, maybe as I remember it she wasn’t working, but may have been on disability. I do remember it odd that someone in her financial position could afford to lease. Her response was that she didn’t have enough money to buy. The notion of the car as asset, fell flat with her. I knew that one day the lease would run out, and with no automotive assets to her name, she’d have to start from scratch again. Huge deposit, monthly payments, no equity.

Perhaps that defines her relationship with the guy: huge deposit, monthly payments, no equity. Meaning, she invested all her time and energy; all her hopes and dreams, but walked away with nothing. Not a divorce settlement, not alimony—that at least a marriage would have effected. Nothing. Nada. 

Well, she just told me yesterday that her lease is due next month. And so, w/$32 to her name, she has no capital to even put down a deposit for the next one, let alone the monthlies. Meanwhile, I drive a 10 year old Ford Focus. It’s paid for. Which compared to her, is like me earning $300/month. Sure it has no resale value. And I don’t exactly look slick at the valet park. But it’s an asset nonetheless. It gets me from A to B. Which saves me taxi fare or public transportation headaches. And when it dies, I’ll buy another.

Like all of us, my sister has bills. Not a crazy amount, but about $1,000 worth. For that, mom reluctantly agreed to advance her money. 

But mom is hardly going to advance her the approx $4K a lease might require. Knowing her, she’ll solve it by finding a lease w/no down payment. And we all know what that means: extraordinarily high monthlies. Again, with no equity. And that’s if she even qualifies. A bank would have to be pretty desperate to qualify her. But as sleazy as car salesmen are, they probably will.

Fortunately things are looking a bit brighter for her. She seems to have found a job, and it’s in a field she formerly worked in and wanted to return to. She’s currently in the process of executing necessary documentation and tests. I hope she passes all phases, qualifies for the job, is a quick-study at the new systems she’ll be trained on, and performs the job well. Amen. 

Not sure how she’ll solve the car problem, but I suggested she take the metro to her impending job. L.A.’s metro, while new-ish and impressive, is hardly complete. It serves only a few areas and routes. Lets hope it can take her East and deposit her to the employer’s block. Amen.

But that’s not all. I hope she not only earns enough money to, but in so doing also learns the benefits of property ownership and asset acquisition. Money thrown away on rents and leases leaves the broke, broker. A chain that’s impossible to get off of, especially in today’s market of astronomical real estate and car prices. Had she gotten off the wheel decades ago when she had steady work, she wouldn’t have been in this position. 

I’m sure readers might think she’s far luckier than many if not most, in the world. That I’m crying a river. And I get that. The world’s majority are impoverished. And our forbearers might have been as well. But through blood, sweat and tears, we Sotnicks and Szabos were to have gotten over. So seeing a beloved family-member drop back several ladder-rungs en route to economic liberation, is saddening. And so, I’m extremely sorry for her. And I hope she has the strength to pull through. Living with your 87 year old mother is demoralizing. But she’s lucky to have that safety net at all. Or not. Maybe it served as a disincentive. I’m terribly sorry, and I wish she could get over. And find a man who loves her so much he’d go out on a limb to provide for all her needs and wants. Amen.